Evangelism

This Friday during one of our classes my DTS discussed evangelism, and practiced by breaking into smaller groups to talk to each other about Jesus, since that is something most of us had never done.

This did not go over well (at least not in my head).

I never realized how strong my opinions were about evangelism until someone told me to evangelize.

I don’t like it.

I don’t like feeling like I’m going to be the rich white girl standing in the street of someone else’s nation and telling a group of strangers what to do with their heart and soul.

I don’t like the lack of follow up and relationship that I imagine exists when the medium for proclaiming your faith is standing on top of a soap box.

I’ve seen “those people” on my own college campus and they’re always doing the same thing. Screaming at strangers and telling them how they are going to go to hell, and accomplishing nothing more than turning off every passerby to Jesus Christ.

I don’t like it because (to me) it’s not love and it’s not grace and while aspects of trust exist in it, it’s certainly not the whole truth.

It's a bunch of loud and angry people who yell at you and try to scare you into faith that's based on the love of God. That feels counter-intuitive to me. 

Needless to say, I had a pretty bad attitude.

Sidenote: I feel like I should probably clarify here—no one in YWAM is telling me to stand on a street corner and tell strangers they're going to hell. No one is saying I should preach to groups of people without also trying to build relationship. What they are saying is that they want to be obedient to God in all circumstances, and if that includes going up to a stranger and talking about Jesus then so be it. 

Anyways, I don’t know why, but the topic of evangelism really stuck with me—I was more irritated and offended by it than I thought normal, so much so that even after talking with one of my team’s leaders about it, it was still on my mind, just hanging out in the back of my head bothering me.

My family is in town, so I ended up venting my feelings about our evangelism exercise to my mom— the poor woman had to listen to me list off every thing I saw weird and wrong in it.

She listened, I ranted, conversation waned, we went to dinner, and I thought that was that.

The next morning as we sat on the back porch of their condo sipping coffee and watching waves crash on the rocks (pretty magical, by the way) she brought up the topic again.

My mom has been studying the prophets in the Bible and that morning had read some things that made her think of me. She said that we each have a natural response when God asks us to do something, and that you can see it particularly clearly in the prophets.

When Moses was called he said, “I won’t do it.” When Isaiah was called he said, “Woe is me.” And when Jeremiah was called he said, “I can’t do it.”

In my mother’s opinion, I’m pulling an Isaiah. Because the truth of the matter is that I felt compelled to deviate from my life plan and spend six months of my life in YWAM. Three months going deeper into my faith in Jesus, followed by three months spent implementing that love and faith in Jesus by serving and loving others.

That is a call, and though I’ve been obedient, I’ve also been vaguely horrified that I’m voluntarily going outside of my comfort zone. My obedience has not been a joyful one. It’s been a hesitant and weirded out one with a foundation of cynicism rather than trust that God leads me well.

Here is the verse that my mom pointed out to me. I think that God’s message to this prophet is so applicable to anyone who shares my attitude regarding how far they are willing to go in obedience to Him:

Jeremiah 1:4-8

“The word of the Lord came to me saying, “before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

Verses 17-19

“Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.”

To say I felt convicted by her insight and these verses is an understatement.

This isn’t about rehearsing the best speech I can put together in order to yield the best results.

It’s about acknowledging that each of us has been called.

It’s about choosing joyful acceptance in that call instead of hesitance or fear.

It’s about finding ways to prepare myself so that if/when God asks me to speak I can more easily honor him with instant obedience and immediately give a joyful “yes!”

This is not saying that my responsibility is to pick soapboxes to stand on and then speak from them when I feel like it. In fact, I think if that is my method, I'm doing something wrong.

Followers of Jesus have a constant call to serve and to love—to wash feet, to love and rejoice over the unlovable and miserable, to give freely of what we have received.

But in the event (and in my opinion, only in the event) that in addition to loving and serving, my God does ask me to climb up in front of a group of people and proclaim my faith in Him, it’s not a bad thing to have been somewhat prepared.

He is Almighty God and He has commanded me to stand up and say whatever He tells me to. That includes speaking with a friend over dinner, it includes my silence, and it includes me standing and proclaiming whatever He wants on a street corner.

I think the bottom line is “Will I be obedient?”

I claim to believe that my God has a plan for me and guides me well in the big things and in the small. So then, if I hear Him ask me to do something that offends my sense of what is socially acceptable, will I still say “yes” with joy, full of trust that this is part of the path He has chosen for me?

The answer must be yes. Because my sense of awkwardness cannot take precedence over the will and command of God.

Man. What a challenge this DTS has been to me. It’s hard forcing myself to really consider why I believe the things I believe. Is it just because I want to believe it, or is there some foundation beneath it all—besides the foundation of my own opinion?

It’s so good, but it’s so hard. I don’t think a day has gone by when some thought or understanding I have has not been challenged. I wish that everyone could experience this. This ripping into your own soul to figure out exactly why you think what you think is so rewarding. It gets your eyes and heart down to the very core of you, and you finally stop being blinded to what God really wants to do in you.

I hope I always have the courage to ask for more and to say "yes" to what is given.