Mermaid Heart

These last few weeks have been a blur. Extra work opportunities appeared out of nowhere (thank you Lord) and my days have been filled with a combination of the productivity of projects completed at work, and with the happy chaos of packing up a chapter of life in preparation for whatever is next (and oh, how I love to daydream about the “next”).

But before the blur of these past weeks began in earnest, I had a day at the beach that has made its way into this tired girl's dreams as she lays in bed at night resting from another busy day. It was like being picked up from the midst of a busy schedule by a higher power, and plopped straight into a day from 15 years ago on one of my first trips to the ocean-- back when the sea and I first fell in love. Sometimes you have to re-visit what it felt like to be eight years old and at the beach, and a couple weekends ago, I was able to do just that.

The day started out normally enough-- I woke up early for a Saturday, made coffee, grabbed my surfboard, and headed to the beach. I met up with a friend and we paddled out, and spent our time in the waves floating and talking about things that mattered rather trying to catch many waves. We eventually left the water and walked around downtown San Clemente, going in and out of shops to browse and see what there was to see.

I sipped watermelon juice and we walked and talked and it was good. Sometimes there is just nothing like walking around with a friend, feeling salty and rumpled from the sea. Wearing no makeup and not having the slightest desire to impress anyone of anything. All your focus is on sunshine and friendship, and it’s enough.

She eventually left and I met up for brunch with some other friends. We had good coffee and good food and good conversation, and after they left I knew that my day was only just beginning.

I had no desire to do anything but go back to the ocean and lay on the beach, and that is exactly what I did. Thus the best part of my day began. I napped and when I woke up and looked out at the water the first thing I saw was a pod of dolphins coasting up and down the beach and my heart just wanted to laugh at their playfulness and freedom.

I sat and watched and all I could see was a cloudless sky and kids playing in the surf and dolphins swimming and seabirds calling. And in my mind I was all of the sudden a mermaid-- gripped by that playful spirit that inhabits us so fully as children. So, I shunned my surfboard in favor of my boogie board and ran out to play with the rest of the kids (the ones who knew that really, they were mermaids too) and I stayed in the water for hours, just playing and floating and frolicking and feeling right with the world.

There’s something about that feeling of submerging yourself entirely in the ocean, surging forward suddenly so that you’re pulled along with the waves… getting caught in the crest and tumbled around underwater, or being exactly in the perfect spot of the water’s pull and getting lost in the feeling of flying towards the land. Feeling that somehow, you've become part of that wave for one magical second. All you can feel is the tickle of bubbles and seafoam and it is so, so perfect. 

It feels like the heart of a child. 

It feels like eight years old at the beach. 

It feels like the perfect way to say goodbye to my favorite part of California—my friend, the sea.