Fight Night

ar·gu·ment

noun\ˈär-gyə-mənt\

: a statement or series of statements for or against something

: a discussion in which people express different opinions about something

: an angry disagreement

People should argue more.

I’m not talking about fighting over small things that don’t matter—I’m talking about sitting down to have a good conversation with someone. They present their opinion about something, you think it over, and then you have a nice exchange of theories and opinions. If the other person’s logic is weak, then you have the opportunity to point that weakness out without the fear of World War III breaking out.

Don’t you wonder if  our society (with all of its diverse peoples and cultures and worldview and backgrounds) would be a better one if we encouraged good, healthy arguments with well founded, well thought out ideas-- without either party getting angry or stating that the other person is wrong or small minded.

I think that the pros of a good, healthy argument are undervalued and unappreciated.  I hate that in our culture the words “I think you’re wrong” are often synonymous with “I hate you.” I long for healthy exchanges of beliefs, ideas, and ideals, with each person listening and considering, and at peace with not coming out on top. Arguments like that breed strong thoughts and open minds and the ability to really know why you believe what you believe, because you’ve built confidence by defending it well in a conversation where someone is respectfully questioning and challenging you.

Not only does our inability to argue well breed a spirit of defensiveness when disagreements do occur, but it means that we often have no idea how to communicate (even to ourselves) why we think about things the way that we do. Most people cannot communicate why they hold certain beliefs-- even ones that are integral to them. When asked to explain themselves and/or their beliefs, the response is to get angry or defensive, and I hate that.

I think that the reason for that attitude is simple—fear. I think that we are all terrified of being wrong, but I’ll tell you one thing: a belief that can’t survive a simple argument is a weak belief.

Healthy, non-angry arguments make you sharp. They make you think and question and challenge things you think about. They make you think and question and challenge things that other people tell you instead of swallowing it mindlessly.

I’m all for my generation changing things. I want us to be men and women who know exactly what they believe and why they believe it. I want us to brave enough to argue about important things—and I want us to learn what it really means to have faith in our beliefs. To test things as we learn them and to not let our world tumble around our ears if one person argues better than we about something vastly important to us.

How good for our characters to think long and hard about why we believe what we believe, regardless of topic—politics, religion, gender roles, family. To think long and hard, and to explain it to ourselves, and to bring it up in healthy debate with others. Let’s test things before swallowing them. Lets defend things well, and lets be aware that while some beliefs are worth holding onto like a pit bull, there are others where you may be wrong.

Let’s argue, and let’s be better people for it.

I love the idea of seeing friends as whetting stones. A whetting stone is a hard stone used to sharpen steel blades. Your mind is a tool and a weapon. A steel blade, per se. And it is priceless to have friendships where you both desire to sharpen one another. I encourage every person reading this to have an argue partner. Someone (good friends are best) who is different from you and holds different beliefs than you do who you can go have coffee with on occasion with the sole purpose of learning to argue well.

I promise that if you’re both their with the purpose of learning to argue healthily and well, then your friendship will last some disagreements, and you will probably be a better person for the experience.