Technology Rant

 “We are all fatter, uglier, lazier and less interesting than our parents.” Those were the words that crossed my mind as I enjoyed dinner with a group of friends  and watched as they sacrificed conversation on the collective altars of Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or simply chose to text with other (assumedly more interesting) people not present.

No, my friends don’t hate me, and I don’t hate my friends. Although it would be quite understandable for one to get that impression after observing us neglect each other at an occasion where the entire purpose is to connect and be present in one another’s lives.  My friends and I are actually very kind, fun, attractive, and interesting people, but I can’t help but feel that we grow less so the more we dedicate our spare time to TV, video games, and our phones.

Please don’t misunderstand me—I don’t hate technology and I’m not of the opinion that we should burn our computers and televisions and only use landlines and swear off watching movies. As a twenty-five year old resident of Orange County, I am surrounded by a culture that respects show business and sees it as an art. I too, think the new iPhone is really cool and often the first thing I do when I wake up is grab my phone and check for emails, texts, and notifications on social media.

Lately though when I look around and see so few men and women my age accomplishing anything other than incredible amounts of debt and really awesome Instagram pictures, I can’t help but wonder why we are all so dull. Does anyone create anymore? Does anyone think anymore? Does anyone do anything interesting just for the sake of it, or are they choosing their extracurricular activities based on what will get them the most likes on Instagram? Just once, I would like to go watch the sunset at the beach and not see anyone take a selfie.

Do you want to know why I think dialogue rich shows like Downton Abbey are so popular right now? It’s because my generation has no idea how to have a conversation, and is astounded when they see it done well. I think we have forgotten that people are actually kind of interesting—not their facebooks, or their websites, or their instagrams, but people themselves. What they think and wonder and dream about and have to say if they’re asked is interesting.

If asked, many people would say that I live in one of the most interesting places in the world. Southern California is hailed as a mecca of entertainment both in the entertainment and outdoor recreation industries. Yet, if you ask the average person who lives in my neighborhood what a typical day looks like, they will say that they wake up, maybe go on a run or to the gym, shower and eat, go to work, run some errands, and then come home. They will then typically eat dinner and watch TV until they go to bed. If you ask them how much time they spend having intentional conversations during the day (not counting with customers or clients at work) they will probably say they spend about 15-20 minutes. If you ask them how much personal time they spend on social media, watching TV, on the computer, or playing video games, you can rest assured that their answer will be anywhere from 1-5 hours.

As a human being, I am irritated by this. Maybe this is why it’s so hard for single women my age to connect with a worthwhile man. They’re all too busy playing video games to notice us.  Maybe this is why it’s hard to connect with new friends. They’re all too connected to their hundreds of pseudo friends on facebook to bother with new friendships.

As a human, I am irritated, but as a Christian, I’m appalled.

I sincerely believe that when Christ died for us it was with the expectation that we would not take His gift and hide it. The Bible makes it perfectly clear that we are meant to connect with other believers and non believers. We are meant to have fellowship and we are meant to be in the world but not of it. We are meant to have community.

Just as sincerely as I believe that, I believe that my generation is both hungry for real friendships and numb to the fact that they are hungry or lacking of anything. Because let’s face it, friendships are hard. They take time and work and real effort. They aren’t always pleasant or pretty, they take grace and love and compromise.

So, let’s talk about this. TV, video games, social media. In my opinion, someone who delegates all of their free time to these things will be effected in two different realms—the temporal and the spiritual.  For instance, if you choose to only be entertained by other people’s adventures (TV and video games) you’ll never go off and have your own. You will become boring, and when you go on vacation you won’t want to leave your hotel room. You’ll just want to stay in and eat and watch a movie. So now you’re fat and lazy and boring. Spiritually you’ll be affected because eventually you will lose the drive to really delve into a friendship. You’re focus in life will have shifted to your own cheap entertainment and you won’t want to take the time to go and do all the things that having relationships require you to go do. It’s much easier to sit at home alone and not connect with anyone other than characters in our favorite TV show or with a game. Our hearts and spirits and souls need other people. When we starve ourselves of that, we miss something vital in life.

In a way, social media is even worse. Instead of connecting with no one, you’re connecting with everyone, and trying to sustain a ridiculous number of cheap and shallow friendships with people you don’t even really know, and most of the time, with people you don’t even really like. 

According to my Instagram my life and the lives of all of my friends is perfect. All we do is watch beautiful sunsets and look gorgeous in perfect outfits. Our boyfriends and family and friends are always perfect and nothing is ever wrong.  We hide behind a façade of perfect pictures and clever tweets. We live lives that aren’t vulnerable and we do not invite others to share any imperfections in your apparently perfect world.  We cheat ourselves from the beauty of real friendship, as messy and hard as it can be.

But we are commanded to love, and love is both a choice and an action. You can’t love the way that Jesus loved if you can’t even handle twenty minutes of conversation with your friends. Conversation is a tool that we have to hone, because in order to love someone well, you have to have some basic understanding of them, and in order to understand someone, you really must talk to them.

Our obsession with TV and being entertained with other people’s stories is halting us from pursuing our own story. 

When our focus is more on technology than on the simple day to day moments of our life, we lose our ability to be genuine.

We lose our ability to connect.

We forget to value what it means to delve into a friendship.

We sacrifice our ability to love well and to be loved well.

I don't mean to say that it's bad to be watch TV or to be linked in to social media. Wonderful stories are communicated through film, and social media can be an invaluable way to keep up with people. I guess it can all be summed up in a pretty simple question. Are you connecting more with technology than you are with the humans that surround you? If so, something needs to change. 

Choose to be interesting, and you’ll meet interesting people. Choose to obey God and love other well, and see how He uses you and blesses your obedience.

So this is a challenge to my generation. Go do fun interesting things just for the sake of having a good adventure. Invite your friends over to cook dinner, and instead of instagraming your dinner (I'm very guilty of that) and trying to decide what the most clever hashtag can be, talk about how everyone is really doing. Next time you’re waiting in line at Starbucks, don’t pull out your cell and try to look busy on it. Talk to a stranger. Connect with someone you otherwise never would have connected with.

And in all of your experiments, ask that God help you to choose to love whoever it is that you’re coming into contact with. It’s a beautiful thing to be loved as someone’s brother or sister in Christ. I know that for me, being loved well by believers is what moved me to choose this path. So let’s be intentional in our time and recreation and conversation. Let’s talk to people and open ourselves up and be inspired and original when it comes to have our fun.

Maybe we can even end up as interesting as our parents.